consuelacooks

cooking, poetry, and unapologetic intense moments in a life

Month: May, 2013

Wherefore means WHY or Let me pick your flowers

Post lizard-hunting activities

One day until wheels leave ground and I am airborne

And two three dancing at the derby and

Three four spine like I will travel down old paths

And old familiar eyes

Angels and batboys both need running shoes

And twenty years later will I say your name?

The house is burning, sweet Jesus- the smoke!

Skywise it puffs up like proud bird and God will go bowling soon

I’ll point my toes toward the red

If only for a day more

A night more

One love at a time at a viper’s speed

Pouncing on heart and freeing the room that was left

Behind years ago

Where falling leaves live, and earthworms the size of

Stormtroopers, cats the size of

Two-stories, hands the size of

Me.

And I pause for dreaming

I remember running, running so fast, so far in rain

At six or seven, running in stealth, me and Roberto

Fast with tight white Florida shirts baring

Arms, hands brown

Shorts baring brown legs, dirty knees

(post lizard hunting)

And that lightning could have pounded me in the chest as he

Closed in fast

Closed in grabbing

Arms tight closed in hard and fast

On pink mouth with kiss

And the rain ran down curiosity

The rain ran down a different take on Father

The rain ran down balloons and birthday scotch

I felt tongue muscle slide across wet bottom lip

Fierce Florida destitute forlorn poor kids

Learning the way to longer days

Punching the sky with boredom and new-found

Belly clenching activities

I don’t want to give, I say. I don’t want to

Have to quiet down.

I want to yell it scream it kick it whisper it

Bigger than my life before

I want to swim before and after by MY hand.

I want to keep my words, and my womb and my wicked hands

And throw them slowly to the sea

I want to learn 5 ways to say I desire you.

I want to be silent and only watch.

I want a different take on this all.

I want to rub chocolate on the white house and

Eat from my yard

I want to eat you like a whole almond, he said.

Me and time we see,

And I never knew the shape of trees in a hurricane.

And I love has never left me so full as these years, three

And I wait for your foot on the stair.

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5 girls who play like ducks or Nickel Shakespearepalooza

So- It is rainy and cold and wet. Bring it! TODAY. LENOX FARMER’S MARKET! 1:30-2:30!

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Since last we met I have had some

Since last we met I have had some big life changes. I have taken a full time job as a Sous Chef at this freakin awesome place. I found out I get to perform at some of the coolest places in the Berkshires this Summer. I am joining a roller derby team. I am thankful for all of these things.

 

Also- one of the most important fells in the world to me passed into the the sky this week.

This is what I wrote to him on the day he moved on…

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Last night one of the greatest men and most vital artists moved on. Haskell Fitz-Simons was not only one of the dearest friends I have known, but also a beautiful and generous teacher, an amazing collaborator, and someone who helped form me as a human and an artist. I will never forget parades, shows, trips to the ASPCA, lunches, or just sitting with you and speaking of great books. You were my hero, and I will miss you. I love you, Hak.

 

So it’s been a whirlwind. This week. These weeks. I am in rehearsal with four of the greatest girls and I am thankful every day. I am going to pay a lot more attention- as a friend of mine reminded me that I should stick with this blog thing. Also I have a lot more recipes now.

 

A world of love,

 

C

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