Gratitude, or late night tangles and tangos

Deep in the Berkshires at a Medical Arts building with a dear friend who begins a long journey today. In the most delicate fashion I will describe what she is going through:

That SHIT is getting taken out of her breast today.

She, as always, is laughing and making everyone else laugh. She, still, takes care of all around her while harboring that hateful pod of disease in her beautiful breast. She brings chocolate to those who take care of her. She talks in adorable voices. She makes sure we are OK. This is what she does because this is who she is. She is a better person than most anyone I know. We all long to do something- ANYTHING for her. And in the wake of this recent and surprising development- we have all looked at what we HAVE compared to what WE DON’T and become a little more grateful. Things just don’t hold the weight they did a month ago. Even in her scariest hour, she is there- cheerleading us. As always, making us want to be better and better humans.

 

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This is her.

 

So, I am going to attempt to do a few things. Love more earnestly. Forgive. Listen. I am not skilled at these three. In general I glide through pretty selfishly. Pretty child-like. Pouty and temperamental. I need to get over that shit. Stat.

So- I’ve been in love recently. And even more recently desperately in like. And moreover, I have a bajillion great friends. And a cat. And a home. And I work with kids. And I have the means to speak my mind and use my body. I get to create beautiful things. I get to nourish people. I have strong hands and cancer-free breasts. My Mother hangs the moon on me and my Step-Dad is right behind her. I live with the most amazing girl who is someone I admire and laugh with. I spend time with a new friend now who is freaking adorable and so like me it is mind blowing- who isn’t afraid to break me if needed. I work for a company who organizes two weeks of meals, walking buddies, cleaning crew and backup help for employees who are having their life threatened by surprise tumors. I work free-lance for a great friend who has widened my world up here in the beautiful place I live. I have the best of friends. I have no enemies. I am alive and cancer-free. Very alive. Thanks, Universe.

I love you with all my heart.